"Steve" Is Starting To Get A Complex

2 weeks ago, George and I went to an auction to buy and sell some stuff. It's a place we've been a few times and it's a place I wish we could replace. The owners are just so rude! They might be really nice people deep down.......REALLY deep down, but mostly they just seem like jerks. It never ceases to amaze me either that the Auctioneer, who is also the owner, will sit there and try to get bids forever on something he or one of his friends own but if it's someone else he doesn't know he barely takes a full minute to let people bid. There have been a couple times that I wanted to snatch him up by the few hairs he still has and teach him some manners but George probably wouldn't appreciate the attention much and lets face it, I wouldn't make a good prison bitch. Better to just let the old man get away with it for now.

Anyway, we got home after dealing with those people and as we were pulling into the driveway, I noticed 2 things. First, someone else was pulling into the driveway behind us. Second, There were some people just over to the side of George's property line going into the woods. I mentioned the second issue, but George was focused on the first and didn't really hear me. So we get out of the truck and the man who had pulled up behind us said that he'd heard George had a tiller for sale. They started talking about it and I stood there listening. What do I know about tillers?

Actually I was really standing there wishing the guy would leave because we had picked up a pizza on the way home and I was starving! While I was standing there dreaming about dipping my pizza in Buffalo Ranch sauce I heard something hit my jacket.  It was then that several things happened. First, before I realized I'd been shot, the guy who was talking about the tiller realized I'd been shot and he ducked behind George's truck. THEN he said " Did you just get shot?". I indicated i thought I had and then the guy instructed his son to get out of the way as well. While that happened George was also realizing that I'd been shot at and that someone was in the woods shooting next to the property line. At the same time he was already headed over there and telling me to call the police.

I went to the house real quick to get the phone and carried it out with me. George had already cornered 2 of the little twerps and they looked pretty scared. They should be too. George is no little guy! I don't know what he was saying to them, but by this point I was pretty hot myself. I'd been SHOT! Hello??? It doesn't matter that it was a BB gun. Did I mention that before? Yeah it was a BB gun, but those can be as deadly as anything else, especially in the hands of twerps. So I yelled at them and I'm fairly certain they didn't hear a lot of what I actually said, but they probably think they shot a crazy woman and if nothing else that will make them hunt elsewhere from now on. Whatever works right?

George did end up calling the police because after we let the twerps go, he saw that a window had been shot 3 times in the house. Needless to say this pretty much ruined the night. We didn't see them do it and we didn't know who they were so the cops couldn't do anything except take a report and promise to patrol more often.

Now, Fast forward another week. We went to the flea market to sell some stuff and just as we were about to start packing up to leave I start hearing this "pew, pew pewwwwwwww, pew pew pewwwwwwwwww" sound. I look up to see what it is and there's this little Hispanic kid. He's standing in the back of a trailer, this look in his eyes like " you going down gringo" and he's pointing his little space laser gun at ME, just blasting away.

I'm starting to think I should either buy a bullet proof vest or buy my own space laser gun and shoot back!

"Steve"