"Pablo" The Defective Rooster

As with anything to do with George and Steve, there's always a twist on pretty much everything. Including poultry. This time it is of course George's fault. It can't be mine because I had nothing to do with it, even if I did encourage the idea.
See....it all started when George and I first met. He likes chickens. He decided to buy a HUGE incubator and hatch eggs. He ended up with around 200 baby chicks. It may have actually even been more than that. What I know for sure is that it was a whole lot of chickens. I admit I thought that raising chicks was a good idea. I admit to being partial to the red ones and the black ones. I admit that I intended to have a chicken coop built and take the black ones home with me....eventually. I even admit I never quite got around to building said chicken coop. Everything else is George's fault.

He eventually sold/gave away/almost begged people to take all the chicks except some black ones and some red ones. He kept a few of the prettier roosters to see which would be the best to keep. Unfortunately they ended up being "pretty boy roosters". You know the kind.....all fluff and no brains. Yep, they all irritated the crap out of George and ended up in new homes. I was fine with that because I don't like roosters anyway.

Well then things got a little embarrassing around the hen house. With no "man" around the girls got a little frisky with each other and well.....people could like drive by and see this. We couldn't have people thinking the "girlie's" had issues. This is a small town after all and people talk! So, George got them a boyfriend.

Now before I say anything else, In George's defense, he was told that this dumb ass rooster was 11 months old. We are pretty sure that if he's 11 months old it's a frickin miracle he's lived this long because Pablo isn't much good for anything but a pot of dumplins. He makes the other roosters look like Einsteins!

Anyway, why am I so sure Pablo is an idiot? Well, the other day we were standing in the yard and George was pressure washing something. Shortly before this he saw a chicken hawk and scared it off. Pablo never knew it was there! So while George was busy, I was watching the sky for predators who might try to have themselves some Mcnuggets. I didn't see any Chicken hawks but I did spy a couple of huge buzzards flying overhead. I knew the girlie's were safe so I wasn't worried but what I saw next  had me pretty hot under the collar. Mr. Thinkshesabadass himself had spotted the buzzards and he dove under a table for safety! He didn't warn the girls. He didn't sound an alarm to let them know of possible danger like he's SUPPOSED to! Oh no,  he didn't make a sound except that of a big ole wuss diving for cover. I thought at first that maybe it was a fluke. I wanted to give the big girlypants the benefit of the doubt but then he did it AGAIN! He didn't care if the hens were in danger so long as HE wasn't!

Prior to this incident George was ready to get rid of Pablo and I tried to talk him out of it. I thought for sure Pablo would get smarter and be a good guy. PUH-lease! George knows his chicken stuff and I shoulda listened. Thank goodness George isn't letting the girls sit on eggs. Can you imagine how dumb some of them might turn out with Pablo as the father??? I'm just sayin....


On top of all this, I'm pretty sure he killed Willamina by sexing her to death and no I'm not kidding. Stop laughing! She was already sick but seemed to be finally getting better and he mounted her at least 3 times in less than an hour that we know of. This was before he decided to dive under the table and show he's a bigger chicken than the hens. THEY weren't afraid of no buzzard! Anyway, gawd only knows what kind of orgy he had after they were all put up for the night! He had to salvage his masculinity somehow!

So now I'm on an Anti-Pablo campaign. I think he belongs in a stew pot for potentially leaving the girls in harms way, murdering Willamina and not spotting a chicken hawk that was in PLAIN SIGHT. George seems to be rethinking the situation to possibly give Pablo a chance to grow up. I don't know for sure who will win, but I know for sure I'll get revenge for Willamina one way or another, even if it means I have to find a way to "accidentally" throw a rock at his head.

Ok, ok, I won't really hurt him.............but I can't promise I won't walk by the pen every now and then and tell him he's got a teeny hoohaw and all the other roosters laugh at him.

"Steve"