George And Steve Go Camping

It's that time of year. The birds are singing. The sky is a beautiful blue and the clouds look like big white puffs of cotton candy. The heat, well, there's no pretty way to describe that. It's hotter than hell here in Texas. It's mid June and it's already in the 100's. Thanks God, thanks a lot.

So anyway, due to the heat and because we were invited to spend some time with George's son, we went camping for the night. George's son, whom I call "Munchkin" and his girlfriend both said that the place we were going was really nice. They've apparently been there many times and never had a problem so we figured it'd be a lot of fun.

Let me tell you....if anyone ever tells you "oh i've been there before. It's really nice and we've never had any problems there" about a public campgrounds, just spare yourself and claim you need the entire weekend to wash your hair or build Oompaloompa traps.  If you simply must go, either pack industrial grade earplugs or just plan to sleep in the truck for a quick getaway. Not that Munchkin or his girlfriend lied, I'm sure they told the absolute truth. The difference was likely in the fact that they went when it was freezing out and no one else was there, or possibly in the definition of "problems".

Regardless, let me just explain to you what George and I got ourselves into.

3:00 Pull out onto the highway and notice a sheriff's deputy behind us.

3:03 Remember that the taillight removed from the jet ski trailer the previous night was never replaced and we're missing a light.

3:25 Begin breathing again when we turned to go to walmart to get said tail light and the deputy kept going straight


3:45 Finally get out of wal-mart,  put tail light on trailer, get on the highway for our adventure


4:30 Arrive at Browder's 3278 Marina and check in

4:50 Launch Jetski's and go make camp

5:10 Steve carefully goes down the steep hill and crosses sharp rocks to get to the water so she can get on the jet ski.

5:20 Steve climbs back up the hill to get a drink

5:22 Steve goes back down the hill repeating the same process. Steve does this approximately 4 times before she ever gets to get on the jet ski. Steve is a slightly less than happy camper, no pun intended.

8:30 Everyone has had turns playing around, it's time for dinner. After walking half a mile, the cafe at the marina is closed but we get sandwich fixings and the potential crisis is averted.

9:30 it's bed time, but our fellow campers apparently have other ideas. Their music gets louder and they get drunker

11:30 We call the sheriff's department to report minors drinking and noise

12:00 AM sick of waiting for the sheriff's Dept. Munchkin goes to look for the marina owner.

12;15 Marina owner tells the inconsiderate inbred asshats partiers to turn it down. They do. For about 10 minutes.

12:20 Marina owner cruises by, the partiers see him coming though and turn it down. As soon as he passes, it goes back up.

12:30 see above

12:45 Munchkin goes to get the Marina owner again. This time the music stays turned down but the bass is just pounding making the volume fairly irrelevant.

1:30 Polk County's version of Barney Fife arrives. He cannot see herds of people running and hiding behind tree's or up on a hill. Our camp was farther from the hiders than the cop was and people in our camp could hear them but he could not.  The music goes off, no more bass. Steve finally passes out thanks to the 2 wine coolers she had the foresight to drink. George does not.

2:30-5:00 AM screaming, singing, group sex or a possible sexual assault, drunks staggering through our camp, fights, more drunks staggering through the camp and then the fisherman arrive. George Finally managed to sleep for about 15 minutes.

Once we all got up and began fishing and such, we sort of got our second wind and we had some fun but it wasn't long before we were pretty much exhausted and needed to go home so we could rest after our getaway.


Needless to say, we won't be camping there again..........thank goodness we have beautiful pictures that make it look as if it were a wonderful carefree adventure.

"Steve"

I'm not Benjamin

I've decided that George has made it his goal in life to confuse the living hell out of me. He denies this of course. I know I'm right though.

When we first met, he nicknamed me "Mister". I've gone over the reason for that in this post. I told him I was not going to answer to "Mister" but evenually I did.

Then he started calling me "Julio". Steve No Habla Espanol George. That one didn't stick.

Then he started calling me "Maximiliano". Still no habla espanol, and I think he got tired of saying it anyway so it didn't stick either.

Next came Steve. There were actually probably a few others in between Maximiliano and Steve, but I can't remember all of them. Suffice it to say that Steve stuck. I kept saying I would never answer to it either but he wore me down. It was easier to answer to it than to pretend I can't hear him and truthfully sometimes I would answer before I realized I had even opened my mouth.  I resigned myself to the name.

Then he started calling me Jim. This is for no other reason than torture. See......Jim is someone George knows from the past that creeps me the hell out. Everytime we see him I do everything I can to avoid him hoping he won't see us. It's not just me either. George's ex said the same thing about Jim. He's just weird and he looks exactly like Dr. Zaius from Planet of the Apes.

Jim looks exactly like this only grayer

I'm convinced this is Jim as well. George says it's his brother.

No matter what, I flat refuse to answer to Jim and for the most part I hit George when he calls me that. No court in the land would convict me for abuse either so don't even think about using this statement against me George. They will convict YOU for torturing me. Believe THAT!

So anyway, here lately George has taken to calling me "Benjamin". Sometimes even "Benjamin Franklin".  Why? Who the hell knows? I still don't think George knows why he keeps renaming me except that it cracks him up to see the expression I make when he calls me something new. Make no mistake, he gets a big kick out of annoying me. Hence the reason he often really does get kicked. (again, no court would convict me. They would only wonder how I restrained myself from leaving bruises!)

I'm not answering to Benjamin! It's not sticking this time and here's why. See the name of the blog? George and Benjamin's excellent adventures does not have the same flow that George and steve's Excellent adventures does. Plus it takes a full 2 seconds longer to type benjamin. Sure I could shorten it to Benji, but that was a really ugly dog and a super stupid movie. So we aren't going there. So deal with it George, I'm not Benjamin. I'm Steve. Well, wait, I'm really not Steve either but, oh hell, you get the point.

On the upside, as much as he likes to rename me and confuse me, I loves my George immensely. I'm going to keep him and love him and drink warm cocoa with him lol. The way I see it, when he's old and senile, it won't matter that he won't remember my name, it'll be just like normal! Well....normal for us anyway.


Benjamin
Benji

"Steve"

Another day, Another Auction

George and I had a marginally successful day at the auction today. Successful in several ways:

A. It wasn't raining
B. It wasn't raining while I was wearing my brand new SUEDE boots
C. The wind wasn't blowing so hard that it was turning the umbrella inside out
D. We didn't spend too much
E. We got a Zero turn mower for a great price

We also had a marginally UN-successful day at the auction today.

A. It was so humid, it might as well have rained because we were still soaked
B  There was no wind at all
C. We only got one thing we had hoped to get
D. The tiller that George sold there last week for $35, was sold again today for $90

"Steve"

George And Steve-Demolition Experts

Yep, last weekend, we got into the demolition business. Want to guess how many times I demolished a building before I met George? Exactly none lol. That's what makes our relationship so interesting. I never know what we'll do next. There's always an adventure waiting.

We got pretty dirty and we worked really hard to get it all done but we worked great as a team and the job was completed.

This was the job after we'd already done about half of it.

ALMOST done! It was So hot!

George working hard!

Walls finally came down. Just have to load it all up now

Wanna guess which gloves are mine? Yep, the REALLY dirty ones! Not because I worked harder though, they were just already dirty lol.

Luckily for me, George didn't have the camera. As it turned out, I had as much dirt on my face as I did on my gloves. We stopped at Church's to get dinner and we're pretty sure they kept putting off taking our order because they thought I was some kind of street person. Jerks! It worked out alright though. We left and went to Subway where they were happy to serve us something that was better for us anyway. Take THAT Church's!

We are going back to the auction this weekend, pray for us lol. if I get shot again afterwards, I'm going to snatch someone baldheaded

"Steve"

"Pablo" The Defective Rooster

As with anything to do with George and Steve, there's always a twist on pretty much everything. Including poultry. This time it is of course George's fault. It can't be mine because I had nothing to do with it, even if I did encourage the idea.
See....it all started when George and I first met. He likes chickens. He decided to buy a HUGE incubator and hatch eggs. He ended up with around 200 baby chicks. It may have actually even been more than that. What I know for sure is that it was a whole lot of chickens. I admit I thought that raising chicks was a good idea. I admit to being partial to the red ones and the black ones. I admit that I intended to have a chicken coop built and take the black ones home with me....eventually. I even admit I never quite got around to building said chicken coop. Everything else is George's fault.

He eventually sold/gave away/almost begged people to take all the chicks except some black ones and some red ones. He kept a few of the prettier roosters to see which would be the best to keep. Unfortunately they ended up being "pretty boy roosters". You know the kind.....all fluff and no brains. Yep, they all irritated the crap out of George and ended up in new homes. I was fine with that because I don't like roosters anyway.

Well then things got a little embarrassing around the hen house. With no "man" around the girls got a little frisky with each other and well.....people could like drive by and see this. We couldn't have people thinking the "girlie's" had issues. This is a small town after all and people talk! So, George got them a boyfriend.

Now before I say anything else, In George's defense, he was told that this dumb ass rooster was 11 months old. We are pretty sure that if he's 11 months old it's a frickin miracle he's lived this long because Pablo isn't much good for anything but a pot of dumplins. He makes the other roosters look like Einsteins!

Anyway, why am I so sure Pablo is an idiot? Well, the other day we were standing in the yard and George was pressure washing something. Shortly before this he saw a chicken hawk and scared it off. Pablo never knew it was there! So while George was busy, I was watching the sky for predators who might try to have themselves some Mcnuggets. I didn't see any Chicken hawks but I did spy a couple of huge buzzards flying overhead. I knew the girlie's were safe so I wasn't worried but what I saw next  had me pretty hot under the collar. Mr. Thinkshesabadass himself had spotted the buzzards and he dove under a table for safety! He didn't warn the girls. He didn't sound an alarm to let them know of possible danger like he's SUPPOSED to! Oh no,  he didn't make a sound except that of a big ole wuss diving for cover. I thought at first that maybe it was a fluke. I wanted to give the big girlypants the benefit of the doubt but then he did it AGAIN! He didn't care if the hens were in danger so long as HE wasn't!

Prior to this incident George was ready to get rid of Pablo and I tried to talk him out of it. I thought for sure Pablo would get smarter and be a good guy. PUH-lease! George knows his chicken stuff and I shoulda listened. Thank goodness George isn't letting the girls sit on eggs. Can you imagine how dumb some of them might turn out with Pablo as the father??? I'm just sayin....


On top of all this, I'm pretty sure he killed Willamina by sexing her to death and no I'm not kidding. Stop laughing! She was already sick but seemed to be finally getting better and he mounted her at least 3 times in less than an hour that we know of. This was before he decided to dive under the table and show he's a bigger chicken than the hens. THEY weren't afraid of no buzzard! Anyway, gawd only knows what kind of orgy he had after they were all put up for the night! He had to salvage his masculinity somehow!

So now I'm on an Anti-Pablo campaign. I think he belongs in a stew pot for potentially leaving the girls in harms way, murdering Willamina and not spotting a chicken hawk that was in PLAIN SIGHT. George seems to be rethinking the situation to possibly give Pablo a chance to grow up. I don't know for sure who will win, but I know for sure I'll get revenge for Willamina one way or another, even if it means I have to find a way to "accidentally" throw a rock at his head.

Ok, ok, I won't really hurt him.............but I can't promise I won't walk by the pen every now and then and tell him he's got a teeny hoohaw and all the other roosters laugh at him.

"Steve"

George and Steve Plant A Garden

Well, it's that time of year. Actually it was that time of year about a month ago, but as you've probably figured out, George and I don't do much of anything like everyone else does. That'd be boring and lets face it.........we're anything but boring.

So anyway, I was going to just post pics of the garden but I decided thatsince I took way too many pictures that maybe i'd better find a better way to post them from start to finish. Hopefully this works.

Free photo slideshow created with Smilebox

So there you are, our very first garden together. I just know it's going to be as awesome as we are!

Disclaimer-George didn't really throw Rusty over needing more room, he just got tired of having to fix Rusty and getting gas on his hands lol.

"Steve"

George And Steve Get Rich!

Okay, well maybe not rich exactly just yet, but we're closer to it than we were last week. I call that progress. You call it whatever you want.

Those beautiful planters we made........uh huh, you know you want one.....or 12. Well we are selling them pretty fast now. Even got an order for 4 of them today. Yayyyyyy Us!

I also came up with some great designs today to make them even prettier so I can't wait to get started on that tomorrow. Soon, ya'll will all be able to say you knew us when! ;)

"Steve"